Aussie Pride - Convict Past

Met two Danish female backpackers the other day (no, this is not the start of a draft letter to Penthouse) who are travelling around the world in their "gap" year between finishing university and starting work. Conversation was revolved around "where you from? what do you do? where are you going?" very typical traveller-like questions. From talking to the two, who spoke excellent English, them seemed very bright, intelligent 20-something year olds. They both had a well-rounded knowledge of the world as the talk headed to things like world events, culture and literature (this means, in order, the Paris Hilton imprisonment, a Danish band called "Mew" and the latest issue of Danish Vogue magazine...well rounded yes, deep no).

Danish backpackers (Author's impression)

The only thing I could offer to the conversation about Denmark was that their future Queen was an Australian (well at least a Tasmanian), Princess Mary. I know people from Tasmania who think she is a scrubber (unfair, but note, not my thoughts), so they will be pleased to know that the Danish chicks are of a similar mind. Tried to impress them with my knowledge of Iceland (background note - Iceland was a colony of Denmark and was populated by Danish settlers and my sister lived in Iceland where she had a baby, little Ester). Danes are as fond of Icelandics as Poms are as fond of Australians so I didn't impress them much.

Ester the Eskimo - Icelandic baby

The girls then started to ask questions about Australia as they admitted they would have liked to have gone there and had enquired about air flights to Perth. They asked was the country rich, did people have money (reply - just as rich as most places in Europe). They asked were their plenty of jobs (unemployment is low). They asked if it was safe, was their a lot of crime? I answered that it was pretty safe, much safer I imagine then a lot of places in Europe. This answer struck one of the girls with surprise and confusion reigned on her face. "Oh really" she said, "I always thought that Australia is where England sends all their criminals." Me "Yeah a very long time ago". Danish MENSA candidate "Don't they still send them".

It seems that Danes are of an opinion that Australia is still populated by convicts. Whether this is a rumor put about by gossiping Danish birds in attempt to slag off dear Princess Mary or a sad comment on the education system of Scandinavian countries (which must solely be limited to building Viking longboats and IKEA furniture) I do not know.

Crown Princess Mary of Denmark

(former Prisoner #81952, Port Arthur, Van Diemen's Land)

For the benefit of any Dane, Finn, Swede, Norwegians or Häagen-Dazs Ice Cream employees who may be reading this here is a quick guide to modern Australia:

Government: our government is led by the Prime Minister Carl Williams and his conservative party, the United Australia-Iron Chain Gang Coalition.

Defence - Australian troops are currently in combat in Iraq, Afghanistan and Broadmeadows (pictured is the 33rd Calvary Battalion of the Rebels).

Family Life - Australian families are typically tight knit enjoying many social engagements together such as picnics, sporting pursuits and armed robbery.

Fashion - Australians are fast becoming "cutting edge" in the world of fashion. Here are two models at Brisbane's 2007 Boggo Road Fashion Show.



Business - the Australian economy is booming. The richest Australian man is Jamie Packer. Here he is conducting business in his usual effective, direct style.

Architecture - One of the most famous buildings in Australia, if not the world, is the Sydney Opera House.

Medicine - Australian doctors are leading the field in successful IVF births as can be testified by Mr H. Bergler, proud father.

Innovation - One of the greatest innovations of Australian enterprise, the Glenrowan Bicycle Helmet.

Hopefully any prospective visitor can be assured of their safe passage in my home country.

Regards

Author