Day in Vientiane - Part 2

Saga continues...

Lao National Museum where I was not allowed to take photos inside in case I uncovered any state security secrets. These include mannequins dressed in tribal army uniforms and a whole section of photos of Laotian politicians posing in front of buildings (much like this building). Enquired upon leaving if this was a tourist attraction and was assured it was ("We very much like tourists"). There is a lot of space dedicated to the various conflicts that have occurred in the last 50 years; fighting the French for independence, the Communists fighting the former ruling Royal Lao Government, fighting the South Vietnamese when Lao got dragged in to the war with the North, being heavily bombed by the US in the same war (the next day, I decided not to question the waiter about the change he gave me at breakfast for fear that an armed struggle would have broken out). Across the road is the Lao National Culture Hall, currently unused. They plan to use it hopefully in 5-10 years once State Party scientists invent some culture.

Stopped for a drink on Rue 23 Singa (which is funny, because ‘Singha’ is a Thai beer sold locally as well. So the Australian translation of the street name would be “Almost a Slab of VB Road”. Pissed myself laughing at the time. Maybe it was the heat and humidity or my lack of a traveling companion that I found my own jokes so funny. An insight into the current state of my mind. This bracket comment has gone on too long). I asked for a Coke and the lady running the joint brought me 2 cans and a glass. I had read somewhere that Laos consider this a tradition. I found out the tradition is to bring 2 glasses to encourage the drinker to engage in conversation with someone (typically the bar/café owner). This woman just thought I was a fat, greedy bastard. I asked if I could take her photo as part of my record of the trip to Vientiane without informing her that I was taking the piss. She was chuffed.

These 2 cans cost me 12,000 kip (local currency) which is about $A1.50. This curious currency has the added bonus of having two different amounts on the notes to confuse unsuspecting tourists. The 10,000 kip note also has 90,000 printed on it (?!?!? (how sad that I actually have a photo of the note )). I’m told this is Laotian lettering and not an attempt to swindle foreigners. I think they all should learn to count in English and accept the superiority of our culture so that I’m not inconvenienced any further.

When I originally exchanged some money (about $200) I was provided with a wad of cash about the size of a loaf of bread. Lao traders often greet you with “Is that some loose change in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Heh-ha.” Buying stuff does your head in because buying a couple of souvenirs or a meal seems to be more like buying a house or car. Below is at the Morning Market (and guess what, there is a Night Market which involves these buggers packing up and moving the same shit to another site) which is as hot and humid as a camel’s you-know-what. South East Asian countries seem to be under the impression that the Western world is desperately short of t-shirts. Every second stall is nothing but t-shirts with sellers imploring you to buy at least 10 at a time (which I did) and thereafter insisting that I buy another 10 (“How much u pay? Ahh, u pays too much. Buy more from me. Don’t want children in Austria go without fake ‘Nike’ polo, do you?)



Below is the Laotian National Assembly, a parliament full of Commies that nobody gets to vote for, which is officially not a tourist attraction. I learnt this when I approached the building and the army officer (in the guard box next to the tree) told me to piss off. I politely asked if I could at least take a photo and was told much forcibly the Laotian version of ‘sling your hook mate!’ Somewhat frustrated by my attempts to document my trip, I complied with the Lao Red Army storm trooper and covertly walked away. Just before my cheap digital camera zoom failed to be of any use, I ‘James Bond-like’ took a picture of the building and the ‘vitally important to national security and well being’ flag pole (Western Imperialist 1 – Lao Security 0).



The main strip of nightlife in bustling "Viva Las Vientiane" (granted that this photo was taken (rather poorly) on a Monday night). A lot of the cafes, bars and restaurants are along the Mekong River. Found a Lao-French restaurant (more bread) for dinner and ordered a typical Lao dish of steak and chips (a person can only eat rice for so long). Apart from the temple mentioned earlier, Laos are extremely proud of their local brew named, with typically Laotian ingenuity, Beerlao. It is advertised on billboards everywhere and a trip to Lao isn’t complete without purchasing a Beerlao t-shirt. Is actually quite good and the consumption of this bottle(s) was the official highlight of the trip (despite my inability to pour it). Staff at the restaurant were bemused why some sad prick sitting by himself was taking photos of his beverage (clearly they hadn’t visited all of Vientiane’s tourist sites).

Rounded the night off with a banana and condensed milk pancake prepared by a street vendor. After I finished it off I retired to my hotel room where I promptly commenced to squeeze out said pancake over a 3 hour stint on the porcelain throne (them bananas looked a little too green).

This completed my first full day of Laos. Apologies to any one who took offence, but Vientiane does need a Vitamin B shot before I spend any more time here. Being boring isn't too bad, I am always amazed why tourists come to Melbourne because beyond the penguins I've never seen the attraction to outsiders. Vientiane maybe dull but I'm sure it is a very livable city (if comforts like squatting toilets are your thing). Pushing on to Luang Prabang north of the capital (took me an hour to make the local travel agent understand where I was talking about) which everyone has told me is the place where all the tourists go, Vientiane is just a stopping off point to get there (we will see).

Cheers