Lesson Learned

A couple of months back I had an incident that has still left me traumatised. I had returned home after 11.00am after finishing my morning classes at school. As is custom in Cambodia, I have a long lunch (about 3 hours) and I normally will have a nap in the middle of the day. I live on the 3rd floor of an apartment building which has about 3 doors with padded locks just to get into my place. On this day, Virath (fellow teacher) was going to drop by after her classes so I stupidly left the door unlocked. While dozing on the bed with the a/c running high, someone creeped into my flat and took a look around.

I wasn't aware that it happened at the time until the owners downstairs knocked on my door and advised someone had stolen my motorbike!!! They claimed that they were sitting out the front of the building when someone from the laneway that runs to the house came zooming out on my motor. My motor is unique in Phnom Penh (unique=crap) and they couldn't help but notice that I wasn't the one riding it. Before they could stop him, he had taken off down the road. Luckily there were 2 of Cambodia's finest law enforcement officers near by and my neighbours quickly notified them to make chase.


Police sketch of my moto

By the time I had risen from my slumber and wandered downstairs to see what had happened the police had already returned and advised me to come with them to the local cop shop as they had arrested the culprit and wanted me to make a statement. I was taken by the cops to the police station and was shown my bike as to identify it. It had been damaged as the cops had chased the thief and had forced him to crash to stop.

Next I went to meet the thief. As I sat in the booking room, a young, scrawny young Cambodian man who looked like he knew the way around a syringe was placed next to me in cuffs. He looked very worried and had a few cuts that could have been from the bike crash or the cops beating him. We sat together for about 30 minutes (his conversational English wasn't as good as his breaking and entering skills). A policeman asked me a few questions about the bike and asked if anything else was taken. I made my statement (though I saw nothing) and witnessed the master criminal mind been taken away to his cell for the night (or ever, depending how much I was prepared to pay the cops).

The cops returned me home as my bike had to remain at the police station overnight, plus it wasn't going anywhere with it's front wheel bent 90 degrees to the frame. Upon returning home the 2 cops who actually caught the guy were waiting. It was explained to me by the owner of my house the cops returned to see how grateful I was for getting my bike back. I said I was $20 worth grateful, the cops preferred that I was $40 worth grateful. We agreed on a compromise of paying $30 of gratitude.


Cambodian police in action

Having got back to my apartment I looked around the flat because I hadn't really checked before I left if anything else had been taken. Saw that my mobile, camera, laptop and pretty much all stealable things were still there. Thinking that the bike was the only thing stolen, over the next few hours I slowly discovered that:

1. my size 9 black boots were gone - what use these were to a nation of sandel wearing midgets??

2. 2 boxes of Savory Shapes that my niece had especially bought from Australia for me.

The thief had taken these and they must have been lost in the police chase.

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Election Result

Most important result - I lived through the election!!!

Other results -PM Hun Sen claimed victory on the weekend. Preliminary results from CPP sources indicate his CPP has won 58.3% of votes and 91 seats, SRP 21.9% and 26, the Human Rights Party 3, NRP 2 and FUNCINPEC 1. NGOs and other supervising bodies stated that the distribution was more likely 70 for CPP and 50 for SRP.

Part	Votes	%	Seats
Cambodian People's Party	3,492,737	58.11
Sam Rainsy Party	1,315,405	21.89
Human Rights Party	398,554	6.63
Norodom Ranariddh Party	337,866	5.62
Funcinpec	303,978	5.06
League for Democratic Party	68,854	1.15	—
Khmer Democratic Party	32,679	0.54	—
Hang Dara Democratic Movement Party	25,140	0.42	—
Society of Justice Party (only in 8 of 24 provinces)	14,136	0.24	—
Khmer Republican Party (only in 9 of 24 provinces)	11,696	0.19	—
Khmer Anti-Poverty Party (only in 7 of 24 provinces)	9,471	0.16	—
Total (turnout 81.5%)	6,010,516		123

Cambodian Election 2008

The past month has seen national election campaigning all over the country. The election was on the 26th July and like most occasions in Cambodia, everyone had a holiday to celebrate (or hide from the gunfire would a more accurate description). To be fair, to vote here you have to return to your hometown so the holiday is required to enable people to return home if they need to travel.

As opposed to previous elections this one was fairly peaceful (only about a dozen politically related deaths). The results are in, and some parties are disputing the results, but is unlikely to end up like it did 10 years ago when the disagreeing factions used tanks against each other. Not claiming to be a expert on the matter, here is a overview of the main players in the election (as observed by an ill-informed foreigner).

Government - Cambodian People's Party led by Hun Sen.



The CPP has been running the country pretty much since Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge were defeated. They were originally communists as well, but weren't as nutty as the KR. With the backing of the Vietnamese, the CPP drove Pol Pot out and ran the country as socialist state closely aligned to Communist Vietnam. 10 years later, when the United Nations bestowed peace and democratic elections upon Cambodia, CPP lost to a party (FUNCINPEC) which was identified closely with the King. Spitting the dummy, they started shooting until they were allowed to form a coalition with the winning party. The CPP dominated the coalition until they again forced their partners out. Since then, the CPP have called the shots by themselves. They are no longer left wing, they pretty much have embraced free market economic policies (meaning they have all gotten very rich). Despite criticisms of corruption and human rights abuses, most people agree that the CPP has improved the economy and fortunes of the country.

Hun Sen, Prime Minister and leader of the CPP, has been the most dominate figure in politics. He has been the Prime Minister for most of the past 30 years, and was even a Co-Prime Minister when he lost the elections. He lost an eye in the civil war and his favorite past time is giving speeches on one of the 10 TV stations that his party owns. Once told opponents that he knows when they are scheming, " I will even know when you fart!!" Threw his daughter out of his family because she turned out to be a lesbian and was worried she would bring home a hand grenade as well a girlfriend.

Main Opposition - Sam Rainsy Party led by Sam Rainsy (of course)



The Sam Rainsy Party (SRP) is named after it's leader Sam Rainsy. It's not out of vanity that he named the party after himself but is due to dirty tricks on behalf of the CPP. He set up his opposition party calling it the Khmer Nation Party, but the CPP set up a bogus party with almost the same name to confuse the largely illiterate electorate. This the main opposition party and is considered the most democratically-minded or socially-just party (which means it is unlikely to ever get elected in Cambodia). Trying to aspire to higher standards of the behaviour, the party struggles against hand-grenade attacks, defection of their Members of Parliament to the CPP, and little support amongst the Army and Police (No Guns - No Government).

Sam Rainsy himself seems a promising character, was educated in France and was a successful economist in Europe before returning to Cambodia to join the government as Minister of Finance. He left the government because Hun Sen claimed he told him foreign investors to avoid Cambodia as it was too corrupt (he was fired for disloyalty, but not for lying). He does get a bit dirty sometimes as his party is anti-Vietnamese and plays upon Khmers' long held fear of their larger neighbours.

Royalist Opposition - Funcinpec and the Norodom Ranariddh Party

Funcinpec (which is a French abbreviation for Front Uni National pour un Cambodge Indépendant, Neutre, Pacifique, et Coopératif, which translates to "National United Front for an Independent, Neutral, Peaceful, and Cooperative Cambodia" ..... and has to be the longest party name in the world) was once powerful and actually won the first democratic elections. It was originally led by Prince Norodom Ranariddh, the son of the old king, which was why it was very popular among the population. It's victory surprised the CPP and Hun Sen, and after a little discussion involving gunfire, was convinced to share power with the CPP.



Since that less-then-glorious peak, Funcinpec has gradually gotten less and less popular falling behind the SRP in representation. The latest setback was the dumping of it's leader, Prince Norodom for being too dominate in the party. Since his departure, he was found guilty for dodgy land deals and now is in exile in France and Malaysia. Despite not living in the country, he has set up his own party (named after himself) and will contest the election as his own separate royalist party. Neither party is expected to do well in the elections.



There are about another 15 political parties that are contesting but not many will win anything. As instructed by the locals, I will bunker down in my house and not venture out for the election weekend.

Favorite Cambodian Political Party (or Starting 11)

There are something like 20 political parties contesting the election in Cambodia. The Cambodian Peoples Party (CPP) is likely to shit it in. But my favorite is the Human Rights Party. Their policies are worthwhile and espouse good sentiments, but the real reason why I hope they get up is that whenever they have a political demonstration they dress like the Australian One Day International Cricket Team.

Human Rights Party



Australian Cricket team

The King and I

At a recent social event (another frigging wedding) I met the King of Cambodia!!! Well not the actual King but someone who looked exactly like him (this guy was was the manager of the reception centre for the wedding). In each home, business, shop etc in Cambodia is a picture of the King along with the Father King and the Queen Mother.



Below is a picture of the real King Sihamoni. Check it out and tell me if I'm not wrong. In real life the King is a ballet dancer (any further suggestion on my behalf may result in me being thrown out of the country.

Ryan and Annie's Wedding

Attended my 3rd wedding in Cambodia since I've been here. Not saying there isn't much to do in this town but it seems that when people are pressed for something to do they resort to having a wedding (holding a BBQ doesn't really rate here).

This edition involves Ryan (fellow teacher from the States) and Annie (fellow nutter residing in Phnom Penh). Ryan arrived in Cambodia at almost the same time as myself and has been seeing Annie for most of that time.

If your not familiar with Cambodian weddings that means you have not been reading my blog (so stuff you and go and read the other entries). The morning ceremony was not attended by myself as it was at 6.00am and I never attend anything that starts 6.00am. Only attended the reception in the evening. Virath (close personal friend) was part of bridal party and had to get up at 4.00am to be made up and have hair done.

Virath (far right) and two other thirteen-year-olds made up to look older.


Cambodian weddings involves changing into various outfits during the day (sometimes upwards of 10 different changes). Below are 2 of my favorites of the groom. The first is Ryan with his grooms-men (or back up band from N'Sync, not sure which). He was meant to wear the same but refused. The second is a photo of the outfit he had to wear for the cutting of the cake (a pair of horn-rim glasses and white goatee - I give you Colonel Sanders!!!)





Annie's father (and Ryan's new father-in-law) is a policeman here and (to be frank) looks very mean. He was very happy at the wedding, but this is his 2nd daughter that has married a foreigner (see "Steve and Trea's Wedding) and I think he is getting fed up. Below is a photo taken of Annie and me (her dad is pointing a gun at me to ensure I keep my hands off her).



The father-in-law is 2nd from the left below and his boss (a one-star general) is on the far right (of photo and politics). The boss was invited as is custom and a large amount of Johnnie Walker was provided to him. Later on , while leaving the wedding, he almost run me over while driving very drunk his 4WD (along with police number plates).



Attending the wedding were Steve and Trea (Annie's sister) who I earlier wrote about. They have been married over 6 months now and the effect is starting to show on Steve. He is the first foreigner to attend a special education centre in Cambodia. He is accompanied most days by his wife/nurse.



As requested by some of the men who read this blog, here are some more random photos of women I've met while in Cambodia. (Note: The one in white is Virath, main reason for my extended stay in Khmer-land).

Vegemite used as a teaching tool.

One of my favorite classes at the school I teach is a mid level English course where the students concentrate on vocabulary and reading. It’s taught from a text book that introduces some pretty boring topics, but it gives me a chance to make it more interesting by adding some outside elements.

The one lesson which I get the kick out of the most (…sorry, I mean the students receive the most beneficial instruction) is the topic of ‘New Foods”. In it, we read about how different people from different cultures taste new food for the first time. It talks about Chinese people eating dairy products and Swedes eating shark in Australia (one word the students have to learn for the exam is ‘flake’). These people either like or dislike the food and the lesson is used to teach words that describe food, taste and personal opinion. The students get bored of this about 5 minutes into the lesson. I teach the same lesson about 4 times a day, so you imagine how ‘excited’ I get.

To emphasis the point about trying new foods I prepare Vegemite sandwiches for each class. Cutting the bread into quarters, I give each kid a quarter with Vegemite spread thick on it. (Note: Vegemite is sold in local supermarkets, but costs a lot more than home.) The kids sniff and look at the bread with a lot of fear. Some think it is chocolate and stuff into their mouths only to be overcome with disgust at the taste. I normally have to bring a bag into class so those who can’t swallow can spit it out again (roughly 80% of students).

PUC Student demonstrating teaching aid



Moral of the story is that the students tend to remember vocabulary such as ‘revolting’ and ‘unpleasant’ much better with the Vegemite than from just reading the lesson alone. On the exam I normally get a dozen answers that recount their experience of tasting Vegemite for the first time –

“The teacher tried to poison me with Vegemite.”
“One thing I could live without is Vegemite.”
“One kind of illegal drug is Vegemite.”

Number of students who plan to report me to police for attempted poisoning.


The next lesson after the “New Food” lesson is lesson about “Chocolate”. I do get a laugh out of the students who expect that after the Vegemite lesson, they will get some chocolate out of me.