Day in Vientiane - Part 1

I have been looking at my photo collection of the trip so far and must admit it is looking fairly thin. Decided that I will make more of an effort to record what I have seen for future prosperity. Unfortunately I have decided to commence this on my first few days in Laos, in particular the capital Vientiane. I know that dosen’t sound very nice (apologies to any Laotians who may read this) but Vientiane is very dull, the Adelaide of Asia. Maybe I’ve reached my capacity for enjoying South East Asia or appreciating the culture diversity of the region but it was very hard to ‘get into’ this place. If God was interviewed by a woman’s magazine like Cosmo or Cleo and was asked “if you were stranded on a desert island and could only pick 5 capital cities to take with you?” you can be certain that Vientiane (“Jewel of the Mekong”) would not be in the Almighty’s backpack.

Confused on if the place is called Lao or Laos as you seem to get a mixture of both. I think because of the poor economy someone decided to sell off the “s” to save some dough. Lao is a landlocked country between Thailand, Vietnam and some other countries (buy a Lonely Plant book if you are unsatisfied with my lack of details). They are a Communist run country (Lao Peoples Democratic Republic) that have realised communism doesn’t work and are trying to cash in on the tourist buck in the last decade or so. Prior to coming I read much about undiscovered secrets and unspoiled wonders of Lao due to the government preventing most foreigners from visiting the country. Well after getting here I think them politicians knew what they were doing keeping it a secret (bring back centralized government).

I traveled from Phnom Penh, Cambodia to Vientiane by back tracking into Thailand as the Cambodians said going directing would take days as the road there isn’t really a road and plus even the Cambodians don’t bother going to Lao (there ain’t a lot of love between these bordering neighbors). I went by bus because I’m tight, so after a day of bum-numbing torture (that doesn’t sound right) I crossed from Thailand to Lao via the Thailand-Lao-Australia Friendship Bridge over the Mekong River. There is a picture of Paul Keating opening the bridge with some dodgy looking Laos. Lao is a third world country and very poor, but it is a nation of tight-arses. Everything seems to be built or funded by another country (they are like the mate who only drinks with you as long as you shout). French, Japanese, Chinese, American, everyone seems to be having a go (they asked me if I wanted to fund a new hospital, told them to try the Kiwis at the back of the bus).

Resided at the Hotel Lao in the heart of Vientiane (I think it is a law here that the word "Lao" must in appear in the name of everything). Very similar hotel to others in the region; you get couple of free bottles of drinking water because the tap water is undrinkable, the double bed mattress is made of solid timber and is comprised of two singles (I woke up once after splitting the two mattresses and falling through) and the cable TV has a wide variety of choice (Lao, Thai, Vietnamese soaps and Fox News Channel). Typical Lao street outside with street vendors selling lots of cooked that is indigestible to the Western stomach (it was at this point I discovered that no McDonalds or KFC exist in this country, panic attack followed).

I decided to walk around and see the sights despite the heat and humidity (a Lao t-shirt to the first person that guesses correctly how long the walking lasted before I quit and started using taxis). First stop on my tourist trek was the Presidential Palace on the banks of the Mekong River. Found it curious that a country that is officially Communist has such an elaborate residence for the head of state. Not sure if that is the President himself in the photo on his way to temple. Being on the Mekong is meant to be akin to beach front property here, but it is a little dry at the moment. Standing in the same spot I tried to take a photo of the mighty river. As you can see it was a little hard to spot (oh... say 4 km away).



Near the ‘Presidents Pad’ are a lot of embassies, below is the French embassy (I’m sure you are getting the picture that Vientiane is pretty light on for tourist highlights). The French stand out in Laos because there is not a nation the Laos hate more then France (apart from Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Burma, China, both Koreas and America). The French were the colonial rulers of Laos for the first 50 years of the 20th century, as they were of Vietnam and Cambodia. The French taxed them heavily, forced them into slave-like labour and violently quashed most attempts to seek independence. But at least they taught them to bake bread really well!! My lunch was a pork roll purchased from a street vendor. The bread was a freshly baked French-stick, beautiful crust. Bread in most other Asian countries I’ve eaten is crap (the main ingredients of bread in Thailand seems to be sugar and preservatives – tastes sickly sweet and the ‘use-by’ tag is dated in years rather then days). I do feel sad for the Laos’ history and what they had to suffer at the hands of their colonial masters, but at least I got a decent feed.



Generally the locals are very polite, softly spoken and friendly (this is called a stereotype) but Laos do seem to dislike a lot of people, mainly bordering neighbors. In the short time I’ve been here I’ve listened to a number of reasons why from hotel staff, bar/café staff and anyone who is prepared to offer me their opinion. In brief and in no particular order:

Thailand – because they are arrogant and (in comparison) a lot richer; Thais think Lao should be a part of Thailand as they used to rule it.

Vietnam – officially they are meant to be strong allies, but unofficially they push Lao around and take all the good jobs locally.

Cambodia – because they are gangsters/hillbillies and have dark skin (a real no-no in these parts) Lao official motto – “At least we’re not Cambodian”.

Burma – because they are just weird; Lao who itself only recently opened their borders think Burmese are paranoid space-cadets.

China – because everyone else does, so why not Lao.

Most other foreigners to Laotians seem ok apart from the French (see above), Koreans are rude and Americans are loud. Australians are fine, much preferred over our European neighbors the Germans (we build the buggers a bridge and they don’t have the decency to look us up on a map).

Victory Gate of Vientiane (Patuxay), middle of a big round-about on the main street of the capital. Even by the locals own admission the attraction is pretty crap. It really does look like someone decided to take a big cement crap. The gardens are quite nice but it is a shame that it is built in between lanes of a major road (think Botanical Gardens on the medium strip of Citylink).

Never found out what ’victory’ it was meant to celebrate (victory over the requirement for drinkable water??) Climbed to the top where you can get a good view of the city (shame it wasn't some other city). There are about 3 flights of stairs to the top and each floor is crammed with stalls selling souvenirs. One sold a book of photos of the Victory Gate, needless to say, my money was safe from them.

The ‘That Luang’ Buddhist temple (how long is it? its "That Luang"), pride of Laos and a national symbol. I might be a little jaded as I’ve seen, at last count, 362 Buddhist temples, pagodas, stupas, monasteries or religious sites where Buddha him/herself may or may not have had a crap 1,000 years ago and they are all starting to blur a little.

The most interesting thing I found out about this one was that about a hundred years ago a Chinese army of bandits raided the capital, destroyed the temple, stripping the gold leaf and pissed off back to China. Laos are horrified by this vandalism and still harbor resentment towards the Chinese for the act. But I think, you build a dirty great big building, cover it in gold, tell everyone that it’s the best bit of real estate you’ve got and your surprised that some Chins came and pinched it?!?! (Those of you reading this from Frankston, don’t bother making the trip as real gold is no longer used). Can’t figure out why they have a statue of John Wayne out the front. Maybe they saw him in the movie “Green Berets” and liked seeing him kill all them Viet-Cong.

To be continued - Part 2